It's My Birthday! 3 Life Lessons 33 Taught Me

They call 33 your Jesus year. I was hopeful that mine would lean into the miracle-working, follower-amassing, wine-drinking part of Jesus’ life. Instead, I feel like I spent 40 days and nights in the desert. The last year of my life has been hard in ways I never anticipated. I have been put through the wringer, and I have fought hard not to fold under the pressure.

I am grateful to stay I am still standing—a little battered and entirely exhausted, but unbroken. So, this post is a celebration of my resilience and a wish list for my personal new year.

From the Desert – 3 Lessons from 33

1. Love will heal whatever life breaks

Hardship can be devastatingly lonely. When everything in your life feels heavy, it’s hard to imagine anyone wanting to hold it with you. Over the past year, there were too many days when I was tempted to retreat into myself. To swallow my pain down even if it burned my belly. It’s how I’ve coped with tough times in the past. Silence. Distance. Isolation. Pretending that I was okay when I was on the verge of breaking down.

But love taught me differently. I’ve written before about the friends who saved my life, and this year, my heroes were in top form. Even when I felt like everything else in my life was disintegrating, these women were rock solid. They loved me out loud—in all the answered calls and impromptu meet ups and shared resources. And I let them because I had learned to love myself enough to allow others to show up for me on my worst days. My journey into radical self-love made it easier for me to accept kindness and support, even when I wanted to hide.

Life did its best to break me, but love held me together.

2. Even in darkness, there is joy

Most people don’t know how hard my year was because I didn’t show it. It’s not that I don’t ever share my challenges, I just prefer to tell the story from the healing and not the hurt. I like to share my struggles when I can give you the lessons instead of the mess. So, I’ve mostly kept this rough patch to myself and my inner circle and filled my Instagram with smiling selfies, fun outfits, and exciting experiences. In private, I faced my demons; in public, I shared the highlight reel.

That wasn’t about being disingenuous. Every joyful moment I shared publicly over the past year was authentic. Because even on my darkest days, there is so much good in my life. Thirty-three reminded me that joy and pain coexist, that my heart can hold both laughter and tears at once. As frustrating as it can be, I’ve learned to embrace the duality of life.

Hard times are inevitable, but I’ll be damned if I don’t squeeze out every ounce of happiness I can. 

3. Resilience is a muscle

Several of my friends have told me how proud they are of how I’m handling everything I’m going through. These are the women who know how depression used to disable me. They’ve seen the meltdowns and the burnout. They know how close I’ve come to breaking in the past. They recognize how a year like this would have sent a different version of me into the abyss. But I’m more resilient now.

I wish I could tell my younger selves about this—that life doesn’t get easier but that we get so much stronger. I am as resilient as I am today because younger Talias didn’t give up. All the times I cried and showed up anyway, broke and put myself back together, got lost and found my way back home—they prepared me to survive what I’m going through now. So, while I am desperately tired of being resilient, I am grateful that it’s a muscle I’ve learned to flex.

I’ll never invite a challenge, but I’m damn sure that I can survive it.

Into the Oasis – One Wish for 34

I like to joke that I don’t ask the Universe for much—just a couple million dollars, wider hips, and a beachside villa. All of those things were on my birthday wish list last year, and not a single one came true. Kidding aside, I’m grateful for the lessons of 33. They were beautiful. But they were not gentle. I learned them through tears and frustration. I’ve packaged them eloquently here, but they were first discovered in anguish that I don’t want to repeat.

So my wish list for this year is short and simple. All I want for my birthday is for 34 to be an easier year. For lessons that are kinder, sweeter, and delivered with a softer touch.