All in Life Notes

You're a Jackass, not a Joker: Why Some Topics are Never Comedy Fodder

This week I was having a conversation with a coworker and in the midst of our chat he made a rather sexist joke. Now it wasn't a "women belong in the kitchen" type thing. It was a little more subtle than that but it was a sexist comment nevertheless and I didn't like it. So I didn't laugh. And then I told him why I didn't laugh. After all, I have to work with this guy every day and there's no way I was going to be dealing with that crap more than once. Anyway, we had a calm exchange about it which basically boiled down to me saying I don't find sexism funny, and him declaring it was just a joke and suggesting that perhaps I should be a little less uptight. Ah, of course, the problem is that I'm too high strung, not that you think sexism is funny. Of course!

Well the whole situation got me thinking about jokes and where the line is drawn between funny and rude, appropriate and out of line, offense and sensitivity. 

I Speak for Myself: Why Men Need to Respect Women's "No"

Summer is here, and short skirts, tank tops, and sundresses are back in fashion. For most heterosexual men, this is a thing to celebrate. Most women are a bit more undecided about their sentiments toward ‘sundress weather’. You see, as the temperatures and hemlines rise, so do cat calls, lewd looks and the occurrences of “let me talk to you for a minute.” As a woman, I’ve come to expect this, and have made a sort of peace with it. What I’ve struggled to do is perfect my method of polite rejection. I’ve written about this before, and I must say, my method has not much improved. Being approached by men can be flattering, but more often than not, it’s frustrating because women are left to figure out how to say “no”, and have that “no” be heard and respected.

 

The standard response is “I have a boyfriend.” It feels safe and foolproof, or at least it used to, until dudes got wise and started asking why they couldn’t befriend you. But aside from its effectiveness, or lack thereof, I stumbled across another reason why women should stop using their boyfriends, real or imaginary, as a means of rejecting men who approach them